12 J Hardy Carroll 06 August 2017© J Hardy Carroll

He had come to this abandoned building because he needed some privacy. He needed time to think about everything that was going on in his life. He had gone there for peace and quiet but annoyingly the sidewalk was incredibly busy and he was always interrupted.

Never one to be stopped from a plan, he walked to where he knew some roadworks were taking place. There he spotted a sign which was going to be perfect. With it under his arm, his feet travelled back to the building where he placed the sign on that busy sidewalk.

Smiling because his idea was a success he finally managed to be his own. The idea was that he was going to think of a way out of the situation that he found himself in.

Sadly, the voice of self-doubt was not exactly quiet when there were no one else’s voices to interrupt it. By the time a few hours had passed he was convinced that he was useless and nobody liked him. All he ever wanted was for people to keep him in their memory.

By the next day, he was dead.

Strong on the surface, not all the way through.

Written for Sunday photo fiction and Dedicated to Chester Bennington.

Suicide prevention helplines 12:00 – 26 JUN 2017 Use our helplines to find more information and advice about suicide prevention NHS Choices – Suicide Suicide Comprehensive help and information from NHS Choices with links to external websites. The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 samaritans.org U can cope Samaritans is available round the clock, every single day of the year. We provide a safe place for anyone struggling to cope, whoever they are, however they feel, whatever life has done to them. Please call 08457 90 90 90 (UK) 1850 60 90 90 (ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit samaritans.org to find details of the nearest branch. Mind MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393 mind.org.uk Suicidal feelings Elefriends online support community The MindinfoLine offers thousands of callers confidential help on a range of mental health issues. Mind helps people take control of their mental health. We do this by providing high-quality information and advice, and campaigning to promote and protect good mental health for everyone. They also provide a special legal service to the public, lawyers and mental health workers. Papyrus Papyrus HOPElineUK – 0800 068 41 41 papyrus-uk.org I’m worried about someone Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults. CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) Helpline: 0800 58 58 58 thecalmzone.net Support for young men under 35 suffering from depression. We believe that if men felt able to ask for and find help when they need it then hundreds of male suicides could be prevented. We believe that there is a cultural barrier preventing men from seeking help as they are expected to be in control at all times, and failure to be seen as such equates to weakness and a loss of masculinity. We’re a campaign for all men, not just ‘service users’. All of us, at one time or another regardless of gender, will hit a crisis and so we could all do with specialist support when things go wrong. CALM is about, for and on behalf of men. ChildLine Helpline: 0808 11 11 childline.org.uk Coping with suicidal feelings ChildLine is a counselling service for children and young people. You can contact ChildLine in these ways: You can phone on 0800 1111, send us an email, have a 1-2-1 chat with us, send a message to Ask Sam and you can post messages to the ChildLine message boards. You can contact ChildLine about anything – no problem is too big or too small. If you are feeling scared or out of control or just want to talk to someone you can contact ChildLine. Kooth.com kooth.com Kooth.com is an online counselling service that provides vulnerable young people, between the ages of 11 and 25, with advice and support for emotional or mental health problems. Kooth.com offers users a free, confidential, safe and anonymous way to access help. YoungMinds Helpline: 0808 802 5544 youngminds.org.uk Suicidal feelings Parents’ Information Service gives advice to parents or carers who may be concerned about the mental health or emotional well being of a child or young person. The Mix Helpline: 0808 808 4994 themix.org.uk Suicide Life’s tough, we know that. It can throw a lot your way and make it hard to know what the hell to do with it all. So, welcome to The Mix. Whether you’re 13, 25, or any age in between, we’re here to take on the embarrassing problems, weird questions, and please-don’t- make-me- say-it- out-loud thoughts you have. We give you the information and support you need to deal with it all. Because you can. Because you’re awesome. We’ll connect you to experts and your peers who’ll give you the support and tools you need to take on any challenge you’re facing – for everything from homelessness to finding a job, from money to mental health, from break-ups to drugs. We’re a free and confidential multi-channel service. That means that you choose how you access our support, without the worry of anyone else finding out. Whether it be through our articles and video content online or our phone, email, peer to peer and counselling services – we put the control in your hands. You can even volunteer with us too. Students Against Depression Suicide and self-harm Surviving suicidal thoughts Students Against Depression is a website offering advice, information, guidance and resources to those affected by low mood, depression and suicidal thinking. Alongside clinically-validated information and resources it presents the experiences, strategies and advice of students themselves – after all, who are better placed to speak to their peers about how depression can be overcome. Maytree Tel: 020 7263 7070 maytree.org.uk At Maytree, we provide people in the midst of a suicidal crisis with the opportunity for rest and reflection, and give them the opportunity to stay in a calm, safe and relaxed environment. We can support four “guests” at a time. The service runs 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Our warm and friendly volunteers and staff team spend up to 77 hours with each guest over their stay, giving them the opportunity to talk through their fears, thoughts and troubles. On leaving, each guest receives a goodbye letter. This is a personal record written by a member of Maytree’s staff team which reflects their stay, validates their struggles and honours their achievements

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14 thoughts on “SPF: Leave out all the rest

  1. A great way to remember Chester. He was a big part of my life as my kids were growing up. We were all devastated when we heard of his death. Unfortunately, when self doubt gets a hold, it is very difficult for anyone to dislodge it. The voice starts being ingrained and is heard above everyone and everything else.

    Can you do me a small favour Angie – if you want to that is. Would you be able to put a suicide helpline number on the end?

    Liked by 1 person

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